Kaleidoscope
by Girl on the Wing
Summary: [One-shot] Jack dreams of her in circles – half-moon smiles and cylindrical gazes, her eyes rounded diamonds tossing in a sea of secrets. JackKate.


**Title:** Kaleidoscope

**Author:** Annie (superkupos)

**Pairing:** Jack/Kate

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary:** Jack dreams of her in circles – half-moon smiles and cylindrical gazes, her eyes rounded diamonds tossing in a sea of secrets.

**Disclaimer: **JJ Abrams owns all _Lost_-related trademarks.

* * *

Jack dreams of her in circles – half-moon smiles and cylindrical gazes, her eyes rounded diamonds tossing in a sea of secrets. He imagines the slope of her skin against his, a heartbeat rhythmic with his own, like two clocks set to exactly the same time. It's this time that keeps him at a distance, careful to keep her and quick to release her when she looks at him that way – she is the island, danger and mystery and beautiful, and there's no escaping her now.

* * *

The shore is pounded with ceaseless waves beneath mid-morning sun, and the ocean sparkles a lazy foam as it sinks into itself once more. Kate sits at the water's edge, her feet dug into the sand to create cool grains sifted between her toes. It is here that he finds her, fore he knows she comes to be alone every day before the camp awakes and the chaos starts again, but this is the first time he's had the courage to follow.

He slips his arms around her waist, encircling her the way she does him in his dreams, and she turns around in half-surprise, half-not, he thinks. Her eyes tell him a thousand things far too fast for him to catch any of them, but she settles back against his chest and her heart is beating exactly how he thought it would, and her soft curls brush his face when he leans down to kiss her shoulder. This must make everything all right, Jack thinks, holding her and being shaped in the sand with her, and he jumps a little when the ocean dips across his ankles, but she laughs a little and threads her fingers through his, and Jack presses his cheek to her hair, resting his head on hers, and it fits.

* * *

He wants to sit by her at the campfire later that night, but his muscles seemed to have frozen in a position of ridiculous nervousness, and it feels like high school again. Kate is across the fire next to Walt, who is explaining Vincent's latest trick emphatically as Michael looks on, an apologetic smile on his face. Jack feels something tug inside him as his eyes flick over Michael – he dismisses it quickly, feeling even more ridiculous. Kate laughs at all the right times and even manages to shake Vincent's paw, to Walt's delight, and he rushes off to do the whole thing over again with Claire, who is snuggled against Charlie at the edge of the campfire. Michael hurries after the boy, and if anytime is the right time to go, it's now, as she sits quietly and her eyes drift across the shadowy figures and low murmurs surrounding the camp, but then she rises suddenly, and Jack's heart sinks just a little, throwing off the rhythm.

It isn't until he feels her lips brush across his cheek in a whisper of a kiss that he even realizes she's behind him; he thinks she must be a spirit lined with the sky and patched with stars where she's been broken, and he can see stars behind her eyes and wonders briefly what burned them there. She eases down beside him, and Jack kisses her forehead lightly and restrains himself from pulling her to him the second she's there and never letting go, and it scares him that he has to keep still.

The fire is ablaze with Locke's mysterious skill for all things nature, and Jack stares at the dancing flames, disappearing triangles of ash and bright heat and it never really seems to warm him until Kate's head is leaning on his shoulder, and his arm is around her, his fingers playing with the edge of her shirt absentmindedly, and she and the fire and the night absorb him.

* * *

The first time he kisses her, _really_ kisses her, it's in front of everyone, and he isn't quite sure what came over him. They're sitting next to each other, a portrait repeating itself in many forms: her draped over his knees as he sits on the sand, his arms around her, folding her against his chest, and sometimes, just holding hands as they sit cross-legged beside each other, and Jack thinks he might like that one the best. The sun is blazing overhead, but the breeze has picked up just enough to ruffle their shirts and create that windswept look for Kate, and he loves when her long curls drift back from her face to clear her eyes, hazel orbs dotted with reflections of sand and sea, brushed with dark lashes to conceal the twisting paths of her shattered past he can't help but be concerned about. There are survivors scattered all over the beach; Hurley and Charlie are trying to organize a scavenger hunt just for the fun of it, and Jack laughs and glances at Kate beside him, and she grins, and something sparks within him that propels him to lean over and kiss her softly. He feels her tense up instantly, and her hand grips his tighter as she opens her mouth to his and his lips brush across hers. A shiver rockets through him as the kiss intensifies, and he brings his hand to her face to be closer, keep her closer, and it feels never-ending, her lips and her skin and the sun and she finally breaks the kiss, pulling away to struggle slightly for breath, and their fingers are still intertwined in the sand, a thinly threaded bind Jack knows he can't keep her here forever with. Jack looks up at her, trying to read her face, but he can't; her eyes locked with his have in turn locked the traces of what she's feeling, thinking, and he wants to ask, but Charlie runs up and starts going on about a tube of toothpaste or else Hurley will win, and Jack manages to say they don't know of any toothpaste right off.

What was that for? Kate asks him, a slight smile on her face, and she looks like she wants to ask him something else, but he usually finds her unreadable, so maybe he's wrong. Jack swallows and isn't sure what to say, but he opens his mouth to answer and she closes it with hers, and he forgets the sand is underneath him; it feels like he's falling, falling, crashing in the ocean, and his hands are in her hair and bracing her neck and she kisses him like she needs it, and Jack is glad, because he does.

* * *

He's walking alone and thinking of nothing, and the sky reflects a quiet burning beneath his skin that he can't quite place. The vibrant beach is muted in the afternoon, the sun covered by shades of gray and wisps of smoky atmosphere in pieces across the mountaintops. Jack doesn't look where he's going, or how far, and doesn't care; he keeps going like the stretch of shoreline before him is endless, and it might be.

A cove happens upon him as he nears the edge of a patch of trees; a splash of clear water running down the rocks framed with lush leaves spanning the circle. He can hear the water as he rounds the corner and sees the dip of the small pool partially concealed by trees overhead, but more immediately he sees Kate crouched inside, her bare back to him, and he stumbles backwards, all his senses heightened. She hears him and spins around, covering herself quickly, and her mouth drops when she sees his figure turned around. Jack stares hard at the sand, memorizing the grainy shadows under the palms and stumbling over I'm sorry's and I didn't mean to's. He can almost hear her catch her breath behind him, and hears her whisper that it's okay.

He can't quite believe what he next hears, and asks her to repeat it.

I said, come here.

He turns slowly, and his eyes sweep over the scene – she looks so small, surrounded by the rocks and broken leaves, and he moves toward her slowly, as though afraid it will all disappear if he moves too fast. He climbs in somewhat awkwardly, and sits on the edge of one of the lower rocks, so she is eye-level with his knees, and the water is surprisingly warm as it splashes his ankles. Kate moves backwards, toward him, but never facing him, leaning her head against his knee and gathering her hair into a messy bun so a few loose tendrils fall to frame her face. Jack's breath catches in his throat as he leans down and cups some water into his hand, then empties it over her bare shoulder, letting the drops spill down her back. She shivers as his hands smooth her skin with the water, washing away an emptiness that had managed to cover her for too long. Jack is careful, stroking her arms and back with handfuls of water as if scared she'll break, and he can't fix that with his medicine or the stars that settle behind her eyes. They are fragile as she turns to finally face him, and he can't speak, he can barely breathe. Then all notions of breathing are gone when her lips press against his, and he closes his eyes to hold on. She's the wind and the lack of air and her hands are braced on his thighs, and he needs her more than he's ever needed to breathe.

Jack feels her start to unbutton his shirt, and he wants to tear it off, it's suddenly so stifling, but he really can't afford to be throwing away clothing so easily in their current situation, so he lets her slide it off his shoulders and toss it on the rocks instead. He kneels in the pool with her, realizing a second too late his jeans are soaked as he does, and he meets her eyes as they both nearly start laughing. Jack manages to kick them off with considerable resistance, and finally ditches the boxers too, and she leans in and Jack can't feel anything except her lips on his and her breath warm on his face and he is fire and ice thrills racing up his body as they lean slowly backwards, Kate lying beneath him as she tilts her head so he can lean down to trail kisses across her shoulder, up her neck. Her shiver unbalances him, and she's almost twisting under him as Jack traces her jaw line with his tongue, mapping the dip of her collarbone and letting his fingertips swirl over her stomach, and she grips his bicep, half-covering the tattoo he refuses to tell her about her as her breath is rising and falling in gasps.

The world gets tighter and the sky gets closer when he's inside her, and he thinks dazedly in the back of his mind that he can feel every breath shudder through her. It's tender and breathless and feels like they're falling through the air faster and faster, and he can do nothing but hold on tight because Kate is kissing his neck and shoulders and her eyelashes sweep his skin, and she pulls away for a moment to meet his eyes, and Jack is taken by her. He knows within the seconds it takes to look in her eyes and see everything she's never told him and probably never will, and he knows it's never going away.

The stillness seems to shatter in that moment; their eyes lock and he knows better than to think he can ever forget what that looks like, Kate unguarded and fragile and asking him in her deep brown eyes to keep her, and he accepts as he leans down to kiss her collarbone and shoulders, burying his head in her neck, and she wraps her arm around his waist, her fingers spread across his back, and holds him to her, keeping him, and together they'll figure this out, this thing called trust and love and trying to figure things out.

* * *

She's hard to see; Kate is blinding and Jack can always tell when she's sitting next to him and when she's ten thousand miles away, back at the scene of the crime she revisits when her eyes drift across the horizon and he can only hold her like he doesn't plan on ever letting go, and if she didn't smile a sad smile and touch his face gently before turning away and walking to help Sayid set up the bonfire for the night, he isn't sure he ever would.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed :) Just a little piece where the lines started popping into my head, kicking to write more J/K, so here is the result. Please take a moment to leave a review; it's the only way an author knows her work is being read! Thanks :)


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